So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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