after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
