How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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