I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
