I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star