do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
