Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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