So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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