Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
