Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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