Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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