I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
