Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
