I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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