Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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