Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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