how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could make wine with my vomit
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
