So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize