it wasn't lemon gatorade
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
