the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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