If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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