whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
