Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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