just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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