your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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