hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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