I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
