ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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