One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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