Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
