we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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