I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
