Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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