Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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