He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
