Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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