Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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