Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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