make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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