Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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