i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
