Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
