STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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