chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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