yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize