Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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