yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's the barista slut.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
