Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
In America we eat man semen.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
