its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have feelings that need drinking.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
