So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
