i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
