he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
