there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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