for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
