how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
