yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
