i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
