try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
