So drunk its hurt
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
