I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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