If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
