It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
