I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
