Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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