i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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