you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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