You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
