He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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