Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
