Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
