I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
